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Get the best tips on satisfying sex in a stimulating interview with real-life sexperts Rachel Braun Scherl and Mary Wallace Jaensch, the founders of Zestra– “arousal oils for women.” Mary and Rachel spend every waking minute thinking about how to put more zing in women’s sex lives. Below are some excerpts from the show. But it’s way more fun to listen in!
Q: How do women define sexual satisfaction? And, what is possible?
A: Interestingly, women don’t generally define sexual satisfaction. We have spoken to thousands of women over the course of many years. Some don’t define it because they don’t think about it, others don’t have the words. When we ask that specific question – we tend to get a range of answers – closeness, intimacy, cuddling, orgasm. When you ask a group of men that question, 99.9% say sexual satisfaction is orgasm.
Q: It’s no secret that it’s really easy for guys to be satisfied. Why is it harder for so many women? How can we be more like the guys?
The male sexual response is like a hydraulic system - you add blood and pump up the system – everything works. For women, the sexual response cycle is much more complex – it involve not only physical responses, but also emotional, social, contextual – It is not just in our heads. I don’t think the goal is to be more like guys, but to embrace the idea that women can enjoy better sex effortlessly.
Q: The truth is women don’t have orgasms all the time. Do you hear us bitchin about it? How can we change that? Do we need to change that?
A: In our line of work, we do hear women talk, but not as much as we think they should. Our biggest concern is that for the most part, women aren’t talking about sexual satisfaction. They talk about relationships, aggravations, children, shoes, work – but they tend not to talk about sexual satisfaction with their girlfriends (feels disloyal if their girlfriend knows their partner). They aren’t even talking about it with their health care professionals. We are working to provide a language and a comfort so women can speak directly, authentically, and openly about their sexual satisfaction.
Q: In your experience, what are the most common barriers to orgasm that women face?
A: We are such a complex group that the answer isn’t terribly straightforward. There are any number of a range of factors that could impact a women’s ability to orgasm — some are physical including the side effects of medication, specific illnesses, for some women it is age. Some women don’t know their bodies, might not have the right partners.
There’s more–take a listen!
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