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CLICK TO PLAY EPISODE to hear the most embarrassing moments EVER (it will make you feel good in comparison) plus a note on procrastination!
We read our listeners’ most embarrassing moments, many involving underwear. Plus scroll down if you want to ready a doozy of an embarrassing moment that just was too long to put in the show. Involving blood, private parts and the men’s locker room!
If you don’t have time to listen to the show, read below for your dose of embarrassing/horrifying submitted by a male listener:
“So, I was 25, living in Palm Beach Florida, and was whoring around and doing blow with the best of them because “scarface” was recently released and it was the thing to do. I was beginning to feel a little dirty about myself and wondering if that itch in my penis was real or imagined, the result of that tryst I had last night with Patty Bowman(yes the girl who cried rape with that Kennedy kid years later) So I’m at the gym and was pretty much preoccupied the entire workout with imagined pus streaming from my penis and which free clinic I would go to immediately after this so my family doctor wouldn’t know about the “real” me.
I went to the locker room and took off my shirt, gym shorts and tighty whities, which are excellent to work out in no matter what anyone says, and dropped them to the ground and flicked them up in my hands with my foot. That’s when I noticed the BLOOD! Fuck!.. I knew it!! I ran to the mirror with the sinks where everyone shaves, and that one creepy guy always runs the hair dryer on his pubes. Was it from my penis? I was in such a panic I climbed upon the vanity, crouching down a little so my head wouldn’t hit the ceiling and proceeded to stretch my balls from left to right, up and down, even opening up my pee hole to see if somehow it sneaked out of there.
There was only one place left, my asshole. I vaguely remember her giving me a rim job, and putting an end to it when I needed to fart. At least I respected her that much. I spun around and spread my cheeks to the mirror, and craned my neck around, completely unaware of the crowd that had gathered. The pubic hair dryer man seemed annoyed that he was no longer the center of attention and even turned off his dryer to find out what I was doing. I was in a panic, but my asshole was fine. I looked down in sadness and defeat as to the source of this devil blood. That’s when I noticed the cut on my foot from banging in to the free weights that I hadn’t noticed. I swam at the Y for the rest of the summer and moved to California in the fall.”
